


Punch-Drunk

by kimoi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, self-indulgent bullshit, void buddies, voidshipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-04 20:07:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/714573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimoi/pseuds/kimoi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>roxy lalonde never knew she could visit dream bubbles - and she never knew trolls could be so attractive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Punch-Drunk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ambiguoushatred](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=ambiguoushatred).



> hi this sucks i'm tired of looking at it good day

She never imagined that she could visit dreambubbles drunk. This was possibly the best fucking thing she’d ever experienced. It was amazing wandering around where she knew she shouldn’t normally, especially being inebriated - it enhanced the experience and brought it that much more to life. Seeing the aliens - trolls - was even more astounding. This one, though, she didn’t think she’d met yet. She called to him and he turned around slowly, an awkward little smile forming on his face.

“You must be the other Void hero.” He spoke in a very precise way, and it almost annoyed her. He was tall - taller than Dirk, but she knew he wasn’t even the same age. At least not in human years. Or troll years. Whatever that measurement of time was. She snorted at his comment, nodding stupidly.  
“Y’got a silly way’a talkin, y’know that?” she pointed out, admiring him from where she stood a few yards away. He was toned and she liked that, and easy on the eyes. For a troll anyway. One of his goofy little horns was broken and so were a few of his teeth, but for some reason it added to the odd charm he had about him. Her comment seemed to catch him off guard, and he watched his feet.  
“My apologies. Offending you was not my intention.” Another snort, Roxy shaking her head as she giggled.  
“There’t goes again! Wasser name, Void-buddy-erino?” She wobbled closer, watching the troll tense as she did so.  
“Equius. And I am assuming you’re Roxy, the Void player of your session.” She nodded with an over-exaggerated ‘mmhmmmmm’ and swayed where she stood, pointing at his face.  
“Y’got shades.” They reminded her of Dirk, and a grin spread on her face. “I like shades.” Except his were cracked. “They’re broken.”  
“Ah... I often unintentionally break things that I touch. I’m a little too... _strong_.”  
“Really?” she cooed, interested in everything he had to say. “Yer interestin’. Tell me more ‘bout yerself.” To her surprise he looked nervous. And a little sweaty.  
“I really like horses.” Her eyes lit up.  
“Dirk looooooooooves horses! Man you’n him would get right th’fuck along.” Except Dirk was off being an asshole and wooing a certain jungle boy. Huff.  
“Who is this Dirk? He sounds like someone I might get enjoy spending time with.”  
“Jus some asshole I’m fuckin’ madly in love with thas’ off chasin’ tail n’ leavin’ me here all alone.”  
“Is he unaware of your feelings?”  
“Nope. I tell him every fuckin’ day like ‘heyyyy Dirrrrrrk let’s make lots of babies n’ shit I think yer tops cmere an’ kiss me’ but he jus fuckin’ has none of it.” Grumbling, she plopped down on the grass, Equius sitting with her.  
“You seem like an exceptionally attractive human,” he commended. “I cannot understand why he has no interest in you.”  
“You comin’ onta me?” Roxy asked, an eye narrowed suspiciously. The troll looked startled for a moment.  
“If you are suggesting that I am courting you, the answer I’m afraid is neigh.” This brought a pout to her face, and she folded her arms. Drunk enough not to care where the affection came from, she leaned closer.  
“Firs’ I’m pretty n’ now I’m not good enough fer you?” She wagged her finger at him. “Don’t toy witha lady, mister Equius. S’not a good thing ta do.” To her surprise he sighed.  
“Trust me, I’m aware.”  
“Havin’ ladytroubles too?” She gigglesnorted again, leaning over and gently batting Equius’ arm. “S’funny cos I’m callin’ Dirk a lady.” A nervous chuckle left her dreambubble guest, and he nodded.  
“It is unwise to build a body for a friend and then expect her to have red affections for you.” He paused. “I may have been too presumptuous in giving her the same blood colour as mine. I think that is what did it.”  
“Ohyeahhhhh you guys’n’yer different blood colours.” She glanced at his shirt. “Imma guess yers is blue.”  
“Your guess is correct.”  
“So she didn’t like that, eh? Can’t make a decision like that fer a lady, Equius. S’like assumin’ she likes brandy when she’ll only drink gin’r somethin’.”  
“I... can only assume that is a correct comparison. But now I have no one.” He laughed humorlessly. “And I’m dead.”  
“Shit, yeah, I fergot dead peoples could be in dreambubbles. ‘m sorry man. But ey, y’got good ol’ Roxy here with ya, huh?” She was practically leaning against him now, her hand resting on his thigh in what she hoped was a chaste way. Her right side felt damp almost immediately, and she glanced up at him.  
“Would you... happen to have a towel?” he asked quietly. She shook her head, but pulled off her shirt and offered it to him.  
“Got this. S’not a towel but it’ll do the trick, huh?” Without looking he took it from her with deliberate actions, gently dabbing at his forehead and neck.  
“Ah, thank you, Void friend.” He offered it back.  
“Gross. You keep it.” Studying him a minute more she crawled to sit in front of him, brazier’d cans hidden under folded arms.  
“Y’do that a lot?” she questioned, nodding towards her now-wet shirt. “Sweat, I mean.”  
“It’s an unfortunate affliction. I can’t help it.” Wide smirk came to Roxy’s face.  
“Y’sure it’s not just b’cause yer in the presence of a pretty sexy lady?” He fidgeted, and it made her smirk widen even more.  
“That... may have something to do with it.” She leaned closer and he retreated a little, leaning back and away from her. She pouted.  
“Oh cmon,” she pouted, uncrossing her arms and resting her hands on his knees. This way, her chest was exposed; a hot pink lace-trimmed black bra visible. “Y’can be honest with me. Who’m I gonna tell anyway?” She made a ‘tch’ noise. “Who’s gonna even care?”  
“Thinking of a human that way is incredibly... lewd.”  
“Sooooo what? Gonna tell me you’ve never taken a peeksie at naked troll ladies on the internet before?” She could see him sweating again, and a cheshire-like smirk appeared on her face. “You have. That’s cute.”  
“It is undeniably vile.”  
“Pssshhh hardly even.” She paused. “...are they hot?” Her buddy shifted uncomfortably, but Roxy aggressed. “Cmonn tell me.”  
“M-most of them are... easy on the eyes...” He took a deep breath in what Roxy guessed was an attempt to calm himself. It didn’t work. She moved closer, hands sliding to now rest more on his thighs.  
“Yeah?” She winked at him. “Easier on the eyes than lil ol’ me?”  
“You are... a human. I do not seek out p-pornographic material of humans...” She sat back enough to crawl over his lap, straddling it with her knees on either side of his thighs. Without a word she reached behind her, undoing the hooks on her bra to take it off. Her head buzzed delightfully; something about getting this awkward troll off was so immensely satisfying she found herself enjoying it as much as she would enjoy being racy for Dirk. Or Jane’s dad. Unf.

“Well aren’t you lucky,” she murmured, hands resting on sweaty shoulders. She couldn’t tell behind his broken glasses if his eyes widened, but she _did_ feel his pulse quicken. She could also feel him breathing heavily against her chest. It excited her. “Don’t gotta seek anythin’ now.” Hands slid back; elbows now resting on his shoulders. Their faces were really close. She smirked at him, and he swallowed nervously. “Cos I’m right here, cutie.”  
“Lalonde-human...”  
“Call me Roxy, sugar.”  
“R-Roxy...”  
“Hold up.” She leaned forward just a bit, taking the bridge of his glasses into her mouth gently, pulling them off his face and tossing them off to the side. His eyes were visible now - they were white and a little unsettling, but she smiled at them. “There.” He looked away nervously, as if ashamed. Gentle fingers made him face her again, and following she traced the ((sweaty)) contours of his cheekbone.  
“My eyes are a disgrace.” Roxy hushed him quietly, shaking her head.  
“Naw. They’re kinda pretty actually. They look like opals.”  
“I see.” Enough of this.  
“Put your hands on me.” His face took on a concerned, startled look.  
“Wh-what?”  
“You heard me. I know I’m drunk but I _know_ I didn’t stutter.”  
“I’m not sure that would be such a wise idea.” She pouted.  
“Why not?”  
“I might... unintentionally cause you harm.” Right, breaking glasses and being _strong_.  
“So be careful. Half th’fun is maybe bein’ hurt, right?” She winked again, feeling and hearing him take in a deep breath. Moments later she felt two spots of pressure on her back; the feeling barely there until it was nearly pressing their chests together with the intensity. She felt fingers spread and it made her take in a breath almost sharply. Head tipped back, eyes closed. Her own hands rest against his chest, fingertips greedily digging into the taut flesh under his shirt. How the fuck was this so hot already? Well, the alcohol probably had a strong - ha, haha - hand in that; she’d never really had quite the sampling that she’d had tonight, and needless to say it was messing with her just a bit.

“R-Roxy-”  
“Nn,” she warned, hand coming up to press over his mouth. “Noooononono. Yer just gonna say somethin’ like how ‘looooooooooood’ this is or whatever. I don’t want nonna that shit.” She smiled lazily, eyes half-closed, leaning in to kiss the back of the fingers that were covering his mouth. His cheeks were warm under her touch, and she could see the heavy blue blush painting them. “I take my hand off, you gonna be good?” He nodded. “Good.” Hand pulled away and she leaned in, pressing a kiss to his mouth. Hah, fuck, she could feel how nervous he was. It was kinda cute. And kinda hot.

“What I wanted to say is that... I find your form very attractive. I hope you do not mind.” This brought an unladylike gigglesnort from her, and she wiggled atop his lap with her laughter.  
“Mind? Fuuuuuuuck that’s basically all you should ever tell a lady.” Laugh-sigh. “Attractive though, huh? Liiiiiike...” Here, her eyes narrowed, and her smirk widened. “Attractive enough to... say... _have your way with me?”_ She could barely contain her giggles at how stupid it sounded. She’d seen pornos better written than the garbage spewing out of her mouth. Although she supposed wooing an alien might require a bit more cheesy finesse than necessary. She both heard and felt her back crack as Equius shifted, a surprised sound leaving her. He was alert immediately.

“Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry... I told you I-”  
“Hey, no, shut up. Yer fine. I can take a beating.” Wink. “And I like yer hands on me anyway. Don’t you feel... powerful?” Fingertips dug into his chest, the blonde closing her eyes again and biting her bottom lip a little as she felt his hands move; the sweat from his palms making their journey an easy one. It made a breath escape her lips that sounded more needy than in control, and that in and of itself made her laugh weakly. She wanted it so bad.

“I feel like... I’ll break you.” His still-nervous words made her frown, and she opened her eyes again to look into his.  
“Wouldn’t be the worst thing that’s happened to me,” she admitted quietly. “But I know you’ll be careful. C’mon, Equius. You deserve it.” Leaning in once more her mouth bypassed his to touch his ear, lips brushing the soft skin. _”And you want it as bad as I do.”_ The shudder that ran through him was like a tremor, and she pulled back with a giggle - but not before nipping his earlobe and pressing even further into his pecs. Nails dug into the fabric of his shirt, egging him on before one hand slid down his torso, eventually tapping the hem of his shorts. Nah, she didn’t feel like waiting - she cupped the obvious bulge through his pants, gently rubbing it. Another soft cry left her as his grip tightened, cracking a few more vertebrae in her back. Goddamn, he really wasn’t kidding.  
“Nn- s-sorry I...” He took a sharp intake of breath, and Roxy could feel how much he was holding back from crushing her. It felt good to have that control, even if it was a twisted illusion.  
“S’good, right?” she murmured, palm pressing harder against the zipper of his shorts. Coaxing whatever weird alien anatomy that he had in there to life. She could feel it and wow was it exciting. She couldn’t decide how she wanted to do this. Did she want to ride him like a cowgirl? Did she want to lie on her back and take it like a xenophile slut? Both sounded tempting. Hand left his pants and he made a desperate sound, fingertips pushing into her back. She squealed cutely but didn’t return, instead leaning back; back until she felt her shoulders hit the floor, his warm hands trapped behind her and it. It was like this that she wiggled atop him, feeling the bulge in his pants get harder against her backside. She wondered if he could feel how wet she was, or how desperate for his attention she was.

“What?” she murmured innocently, gazing up at him. He looked dumbfounded, so she tightened the hold her thighs had momentarily. “Don’t just sit there looking stupid. Do something.”  
“O-oh, my apologies-” His hands moved away from her and she sighed, already missing the feel of them on her bare back. Hesitant in his actions, he brought them very gently up her torso, fingertips tracing her ribs before gently coming around her breasts. Wowzers, he was trembling - she didn’t know if it was because she’d just rubbed him through his pants for about five minutes or if this was still him trying not to hurt her. Either way it was hot as fuck, and it elicited a soft ‘aaah’ from her. She ground against him from that position, wanting him to do more. And faster. He responded with a groan of his own, accidentally pressing the heel of his palm against her ribcage hard enough to hurt. She squealed, and he let up.

“Don’t apologize,” she breathed, the sudden pain and pressure having winded her a little bit. “Just keep going.” She was sobering up fast, but it was only intensifying the need to get nailed by this oh-so-willing troll. It was almost embarrassing how badly she wanted it. Almost. His hands traveled down her torso, fingers tracing the curve of her hipbones as delicately as they could.

“Take it off,” she instructed as his hands fell to the hem of her skirt, leggings, and panties. “All of it.” He obliged, baring her pelvic area and thighs and dropping the garments to the floor. Naked in front of him she could hear him take in a sharp breath, and feel the sweat soaking through his shirt. It was all so sensual and exotic. Wow. Fuck.

“Now what would you like me to do, Roxy?” His voice was shaking and it made her smile languidly. Hands reached for his, gripping his wrists in a comforting gesture.  
“Whatever feels right.” Despite seeming nervous, she could tell he knew exactly what he was doing. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to discern that the robots he built for the girl he mentioned were sexbots. She almost wanted to mention it - but his sweat was already soaking her thighs and as hot as it was she didn’t really need any more.

Maybe he’d never seen a naked human body up close like this before. Maybe he’d never had experience. But it was probably more than a little obvious where she wanted to be touched, so she could have fucking celebrated when she felt one of his hands moving across her belly button, fingers of his right hand spreading over her right hipbone. She held her breath -

_”Ff-ffff-ffucking god-”_ Thumb - _his fucking thumb_ \- reached across her abdomen, the very tip of it rubbing her clit. Aggressively, but that was probably on accident. _Heavenly_. Her chest heaved with suddenly labored breathing, spine tingling as she moaned. “Equius-” she cooed, reaching for him. He leaned forward enough for her to touch his face, and she smiled with a happy breath of a sigh. “Keep... doing that... _nnnh..._ ” Just don’t break her hip or anything. She was too young and sexy for artificial bones.

“As you w-wish.” His voice was still strained and she looked up at him. Opened her mouth to comment - and a moan came out instead. Fuck.  
“Equi - _aah..._ ...sss...” Cmon Roxy, goddamn. “Y-you can... _nng_... Y’know.... _ooh!~_ ” He could skip the (albeit very wonderful) foreplay and skip right to the damn main event. She was far beyond ready to go. He made a sound that she couldn’t tell was impatient or contemplative, and released her. The action itself caused a sigh, and another chill ran down her spine. She glanced up again, catching her breath, watching him undo his pants. Grin spread across her face, watching in utter awe as he did so and a long, blue tentacle was released. “Jesus Christ,” she laughed, leaning back and covering her face. She felt him cringe.  
“I-I’m sorry-”  
“God honey no,” she laughed, “I’ve just never seen alien peen before. Sorrysorry, please don’t be offended.” Because she definitely wasn’t. She looked back again, blushing and biting her lip. The tentacle was blue, matching the colour on his shirt. And it looked prehensile. Jesus fuck. In what she guessed was an effort to make her stop laughing, he began rubbing her again. Electricity flew up her spine and her back arched, the blonde moaning again into the air.  
“It is adequate,” she heard him defend in a mumble.  
“More than, cutie.” Sitting up on her elbows she grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him towards her. Fiery eyes met his. _”Wreck me, pony boy.”_ Her lips met his with bruising force, and she tasted her own blood after a moment. She was able to ignore it though as her kiss was cut short by her loud gasp, Roxy feeling the tentacle ease its way into her. It did a lot of wiggling and it took all she had in her not to writhe where she lay; the experience of being fucked by an alien as weird as it was pleasurable. Goddamn. He slid closer, his - she wasn’t sure if referring to it as a tentacle was a better idea than referring to it as a dick - tenta...dick.. - his (what did they actually call them... bulges!) bulge stretching her as he inched his way in. Fuck. Fucking hell. He was going so goddamn slow, and she didn’t know if it was weird alien tradition or him being careful.

“Are you... _nngh..._ alright?” His voice was obscured by his own noises, and she couldn’t even respond. She let her body do it for her - the way her back arched as he hilted into her; her helpless, licentious moans as his bulge moved; _writhed_ inside her. Equius’ grip on her hips scared her. She knew he was being careful but more than once he’d squeezed her so hard she was afraid the bone would fracture. He hadn’t even started moving yet.

“Equi... Equius...” she panted, a squeal leaving her as his bulge wriggled again.  
“Yes, R-Roxy?” he answered, his breathing almost as heavy as hers, “is there something wrong?” She shook her head, but did her best to move her hips, indicating she wanted him to actually do something. Bit her lip. Looked at him through her lashes and cooed his name. _Move._ He seemed to pick up what she was putting down, and in what she gathered was exceptionally delicate for him(but ultimately an agonizing tease for her), pulled back. Her form tensed and suddenly she wasn’t sure if she was ready for him to -

“Oh _FUCK!”_ Her words choked on a breath, blonde sifting a hand into her hair; gripping the locks. Equius didn’t stop to check on her this time. Roxy could guess from his ragged breaths and intense grunting that he was both very focused, and very busy. She couldn’t blame him - the intensity in which he was thrusting into her was both amazing and precise. Well-timed. Deep. _Perfectly agonizing._ After a few tries he found the sweet spot, and Roxy was a loud, jabbering mess. Both curses and praises flew, all manners of endearments aimed towards her sweaty lover. Every so often he’d bury a thrust in her, nail the perfect spot, and the tip of his bulge would squirm over it. Her back arched, her toes curled, and before she knew it - his hands were behind her again, hoisting her up so fast she thought she got whiplash. Gasp and squeal left her as her whole weight bore down on him, the blonde giving a full-body shudder. Frame thrummed with electricity. She whimpered.

“I hope th-this is... adequate...” The troll panted. Here, Roxy could look into his eyes again; touch his face and try to adjust to straddling him like that.  
“P-perfect.” She couldn’t bring herself to move just yet, so she resigned to grinding against him needily, rocking her hips in his lap and biting her lip to stifle a few girlish, keening sounds. Equius’ hands hovered over her for a moment, but apparently thought better of it and rest them behind himself, leaning back. Her hands laid themselves on his torso, his shirt soaked with his sweat. Gathering her courage she whimpered, and with a few extra rolls of her hips for good measure, she finally lifted herself off him, supporting her weight with her knees. Looking into his eyes for a moment she smirked, then ticked her head down a bit.  
“Y-you want me to...?”  
“What else’m I doing up here?” He nodded in understanding, and without warning rolled his hips upward.  
“F-fuck!” The expletive was as much from the intense feelings as it was from nearly being thrown off, Roxy’s fingers tightening in his dripping shirt. Her grip squeezed sweat from it, and it dripped through her fingers, chilling her heated form. Kinda gross. “K-keep going, _nnnnh_ keep going...” He obliged, once again thrusting his hips upward and once again nearly bucking her off.

The charade kept up, the blonde alternating between helpless little moans and cries of his name. He responded in kind, keeping a steadily growing pace that was as careful as he could manage. Even still, the pain was all part of the excitement. She felt a shudder ripple through him and she stilled; the only sound among them their heavy panting and Roxy’s occasional feathersoft whimper. What? What??? Without a word he was swinging up ; hands closing around her biceps. She felt her bones grind together but she couldn’t cry out - he was easing her onto her back, and continued from there.

It didn’t last for long. A final grunt, a final thrust - Roxy nearly screamed at the force, digging her nails into his arms and throwing her head back as she felt him finish inside her. It was hot, but she was hotter - and she ground herself against him as she came to her own finish, moaning long and hard and whining his name.

As the two caught their breath and came down from their respective orgasms, she laughed breathily. It was funny. It was fuckin’ hilarious. He pulled from her and sat back, running the back of his hand over his forehead and clearing his throat. She tried to sit up - but yelped in pain; her left arm wouldn’t support her weight. This was uproariously funny as well. Goddamn.

“Are you hurt?” He sounded concerned. Sorry. She waved her hand at first dismissively, then reached for his arm to hoist herself up with.  
“I’ll be fine, sugar.” She tested her arm again. Not broken, but probably fractured. As her heart settled down, her entire body became sore - and she had angry bruises forming on her hips. Dang. She smirked. “How’re you? Rethinkin’ your views on human ladies?” She watched him blush again, and look away.  
“I think I might... put some more time into... researching them.”  
“Always got a willing candidate right here, cutie.” He laughed. She lifted her hand in a fistbunp motion. “Void buddies forever?” He returned the gesture, still smiling.  
“Void buddies. Forever.”


End file.
